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The Girl With Pink Hair

Not all that glitters is gold, not all who wander are lost

Month

April 2010

I should buy 4d..

Before I start going on about work, yet again, I just wanted to say its incredibly sweet seeing how much Luke loves Lorelai. =) =) =) And Kirk loving all the burnt food. Lol.

And yes, as expected last night, this morning was horrible, I was called down to another office at like 7am this morning for yet another talk which ended with me being completely confused once again and crazily frustrated. Please, stop all this cryptic talk. I’m not at your level, I don’t know how to read between the lines, I don’t get the hidden messages and I honestly don’t know what how I should react to your words. I don’t understand politics and have no interest in getting involve! And so, if you want me to do something, say it straight, cause I totally don’t get your hidden message and I give up in trying.

I can’t please everyone, this I know. I do this, A gets pissed off, I do that, B gets pissed off. I don’t do either, both gets pissed off. I do both, all gets pissed off. I follow instructions from my boss, both still gets pissed off. I can’t tell A what I’m facing with B and vice versa for it would only worsen the non existent relationship. I can’t tell my boss because he’s such an asshole who insists that HR is perfect and if there are any screw ups, its DEFINITELY ops. So by following my boss instructions I’m being an accomplice and so it is my fault that this project is screwed. Okay. I give up. I shall sit and stare at my computer for the next 7 days. Perfect. The perfect solution. In answer to any of their questions, Inshallah.

I shall blend in with their local culture. =)

Okay now the brighter side, had a great coffee session with the usual bunch. Its really comforting in its own way, sitting at the same spot, chatting about everything under the sun. =) Today there were lesser work complaints and more random crap, like halal food, boots, cold weather, Europe, castles, Greece and hair. Hurhur. Met wonderful people during this trip. My housemate is gonna cook me fish soup with wintermelon tomorrow. And randomly, I feel like drinking salted vegetables and duck soup. Lol.

Looking forward to meeting LF at the airport next Fri. Can’t wait. =) =) =)

Off to watch more GG =)

What a wonderful world..

And now, I’m left with 7 more days in Doha. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not feeling sad about it and I’m definitely still dying to be home. Looking forward to finally smelling LF after a month, eating my mom’s cooking, quarreling with my sis, snatching the tv from my dad, watching nonsensical shows on tv, randomly meeting friends for durian ice cream and basically just being home with the people I love really close by.

Yet, I know I’ll be missing this place real soon. This place where I was mentally tortured at work, where Harry was such a great consolation during lunch. I’ve once again completed reading book 1 to 7 during lunch =X This place where I touched down all alone, having never met my colleagues based in Qatar and now, in 7 days, I’m about to leave my friends. The friends I’ve made here, worked with, stayed with and went out with.

Here,

I experienced being away from home, alone for the first time.

I learnt to socialize, to go out even when I don’t feel like it.

I made friends I would have never known.

I got to know an Egyptian.

I discovered extreme politics which I was so sheltered from.

I understood that while the nasty remarks were made to me, they weren’t directed at me.

I discovered that people aren’t what they appear to be on the surface.

I became a victim/casualty to the war among higher management.

I appreciated the little kind actions of others.

I got into a car accident for the first time.

I encountered countless firsts with more to come.

I interviewed someone whom only revealed her eyes.

I was taught to handle many different nationalities, even more than what we have in Singapore.

And so much more..

=) =) =)

Like the YEP trip, this experience is definitely yet another turning point in my life. While this blog has been filled with my countless complains about my work trip here, it is in so many ways such a wonderful experience. Which I may have failed to realize when I was overwhelmed by the negative emotions many a times, caused by work. Work and emotions aside, I do realize how amazing this experience is. My only regret, I’ve yet to become independent despite being away from home for a month.

Of course, when something happens at work tomorrow, I’ll go back to whining about this bloody trip and how much I want to be home. Hurhur.

Till then, I shall go to bed feeling thankful for this incredible experience and the angels He has placed all around me.

=)

Another day down =)

Slightly less emo today. Omg I’m becoming like Jack.

I guess its true, I’m so so blue.

Deprived of love, alone I groove.

8 hours away, lonesome I lay.

Okay. Lame and senseless. Miss those days were LF and I sent each other smses that were 8 msges long. =P The silly lines we made up that rhymed. Hurhur.

Had dinner and coffee with the colleagues. A said I should beg the one that threatened me for help. He’s the only one who can help and I shouldn’t let my pride get in the way of work. Really? Why should I? Was I the one that offended him? No. Was I the one who said things that pissed him off? No. Is he rejecting us help because of me? No. Am I the one screwing up the project now? No. I was thrown here (okay I jumped at the opportunity) to be a scapegoat, to let them vent their frustrations on and now I’m to become the sacrificial goat/cow?

Am I devoted enough to work as to beg someone who threatened me for help? No. If the project screws up, whats the worse that could happen to me? I probably won’t get a big bonus at the end of the year. Worse case scenario, I get terminated. Ultimately, does the failure of the project lies with me? Was it cause I was incompetent? You wanted agencies from middle east, I sourced and was promptly rejected with a simple sentence from you: “I do not wish to take the risk”. Okay. Fine. You wanted us to source for agencies from Qatar, I did and met up with a couple which again, was rejected as the company didn’t want to bear the costs. Okayy. You wanted candidates from Philippines, we shortlisted 27 with the help of a very competent AGM but you only managed to get the client to approve 7. It is up to you to sell the candidates to the client, yes high expectations, we know. We know too, how bloody incompetent and useless you are. You wanted cheap labour. Made sense. But you wanted candidates with a degree and 5 years experience CHEAP. Please use whatever lil bit of brains you may have. Who would have taken up the kinda offer we’re making. Would you? Degree holder with 5 years experience? Shouldn’t all of these been taken into account during the tender? No. Of course not. Since when was HR involve in the tender process? We’re merely given the budget after the contract has been signed and FORCED to work within that pathetic budget.

So when this project fails, yes, its all because of HR.

Experience and exposure. =)

Retail Therapy

Back from shopping at Villagio, Aldo sales was a disappointment but H&M made up for it. Hurhur.

Was surprised at the way my Egyptian colleague shop, the amount she spent is insane and just yesterday, she had already bought 2 pairs of shoes, a scarves and a bag. The cheapest shoes they have here costs at least 100 riyals? I couldn’t bring myself to buy any. Not when I’m wearing my black heels which is way nicer than any pair of shoes I’ve seen here and only cost me 10SGD, bought from BKK. Saw this really really pretty white bag from River Island that costs 325 riyals. -.-

I can only shop at BKK. BRING ME TO BKK!

LF is online! Off to iChat =D

Oh my sucha random shopping post. =X

New Year Resolution

Its been an emo week for me. Definitely not my fav kind of emotion. I do realize how I’m letting my emotions take control, which is definitely bad. I’m losing it. Losing control.

I feel so unfairly judged. I feel that I’m portraying a side of me I dislike. I’m showing how immature I am. I’m displaying utmost unprofessionalism. I feel all my efforts being washed down the drain because of how I let my emotions take control. And ultimately, everything that had happened was caused by me. Cause and effect. The result of my actions. My inability to control my emotions.

I know. I’ve known this since my first job. Thought I got better at controlling my emotions. Apparently not. Its not just being here. The number of times I had flared up at the slightest matters, at work, at home and even towards LF. If I want to get anywhere in life, I’m definitely gonna have to work at controlling my emotions. And therefore, my new year resolution, 4 months late but never too late. To work on controlling my emotions. Gonna count to 10 when something happens before I react.

To listen, always listen to the full story before reacting. Gotta stop being defensive upon hearing the first sentence. Always listen. Listen first.

To speak less and listen more. Shall work towards that. =)

23 more days to go

Do I regret accepting this opportunity to come to Doha.

It sucks being away from home, from my family, LF and friends.

Then again, I can’t deny the exposure I’ve gotten. Good and bad, it all happens for a reason. Bad experiences still do serve a purpose. I’ve always believed that everything happens for a reason. However much it may suck at that moment.

Continuing with the firsts, I’ve encountered my first car accident. What I thought to be a minor accident, turned out to be pretty major. The other party’s bumper was crumpled, not dented. I can only imagine the impact and if we had hit a person instead of a car. Our car on the other hand, did not merely sustain scratches like what we had initially thought, the front was smashed in and the ‘grill’ was falling out. How in the world did we think that it was just scratches? Shock or denial? Hurhur.

And today, I was threatened for the first time, at work. Feels like I’m working with ‘the man with a dragon tattoo’. Hurhur. Come to think of it, was it the first? Didn’t my HR GM tell me that if I were to do anything here against the policies which he had to reverse, he’ll ‘KILL’ me? (together with the hand across throat action) OMG! DEATH THREAT! *trembles with fear* I’m working with gangsters. Hurhur. But today, it was honestly a threat. And I’m not reacting the way I should be, neither angry nor scared.

Weirdly, I somehow do not care. If the day comes when I can no longer take this crap, I’ll just resign. Its just another job. The only reason I’m staying is cause I’m really looking forward to my new job scope once this crap is done with. Still great exposure and AWESOME FOOD! Hurhur.

And my point is… I’m being incoherent. Hurhur. Its almost 5am in SG, so good morning! Off to bed.

I’m still alive!

Love this photo.

Nobody wants to be stupid. Hurhur.

On a side note, you don’t have to put others down and make them look stupid just so it makes you look smarter.

Long distance

With you is where I’d rather be
But we’re stuck where we are
It’s so hard, you’re so far
This long distance is killing me
I wish that you were here with me
But we’re stuck where we are
It’s so hard, you’re so far
This long distance is killing me.

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